Sunday, October 26, 2008

Sweet 36

Tonight's the night I've waited for
Because you're not a baby anymore
You've turned into the prettiest girl I've ever seen
Happy birthday sweet sixteen

What happened to that funny face
My little tomboy now wears satin and lace
I can't believe my eyes you're just a teenage dream
Happy birthday sweet sixteen

When you were only six I was your big brother
Then when you were ten we didn't like each other
When you were thirteen you were my funny valentine
But since you've grown up your future is sewn up
From now on you're gonna be mine, so

If I should smile with sweet surprise
It's just that you've grown up before my very eyes
You've turned into the prettiest girl I've ever seen
Happy birthday sweet sixteen
Singer: Neil Diamond
Song: Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen

I remember my 16th birthday in 1988. My classmates and I had a delayed celebration at my house. My parents chartered a bus to take us from our dormitory and arranged for hotel rooms for the boys. The girls stayed at my house. We had barbeque in the spacious backyard. Someone played the guitar and we sang and enjoyed all sorts of games. That was a day in memory. It might now sound much, especially to the teenagers of today, but we came from a strict boarding school. Boys and girls mixing freely (even under my parents' supervision) already equaled total freedom. When the weekend was over, we felt like the world had come to an end.

How simple life was then...

And now 20 years later... I wish everything is still that simple... where do I even begin...

I have not set any long-term goals for a while now. Those days, even back in school, I used to have at least a 1-year target, to be achieved my next birthday. Having said that, tonight I would like to define 3 long-term goals. Insyaallah, in 3 years' time by my 39th birthday, I hope to...

1) Set foot on the holy land again
2) Earn a 5-figure salary
3) Publish my 2nd short story collection and my 1st novel

I had an early celebration with my ex-roommate from boarding school just now. We had a nice 4-course Northern Indian dinner at the Taj and chatted for hours. We had not seen each other since our school's 25th anniversary in July. She had to rush home from Penang to cater to her sick mother and her housing project launch the next day. Yeah, she got both feet firm on the ground. She had had all sorts of relationships with all sorts of men. Hence, I value her advice and insights a lot.

July also meant that we had not talked about the new guy in my life. She said ' Be careful, but don't be paranoid' and 'take some time to get to know him, but don't take too long.' To my surprise, she felt strongly against it. She said something is very wrong, he's not worth it and I deserve someone better. She asked me to go and look for that someone, instead of wasting time and energy on him. It's time to detach myself from the situation and get a bird-eye view.

Wow! I surely didn't see that coming and my immediate response was to not agree with her. Nevertheless, an hour later and after 1 round of Istiqarah prayer, I'd say 'okay, point taken and will be considered'. I think the phone call that she made and another one that I made just now pretty much sum it all. It's not only the shocking discoveries, but more so the motive that triggered them in the first place.

Ehmm... this might not be as tough as it was with Ad, I cried every night for 1 year after it all ended abruptly. However, it's not going to be as easy as The Kebaya Man either, I could still make decisions and take actions with my head then. I don't have a plan yet, I don't know what I want to do or what I want to believe. And I don't even know when my cut-off period is. It's going to need a few more rounds of Istiqarah before I even have a clue.

Well, if the combination of Ad and my ex-boss had killed my passion for my job and career completely, Mr Designer has brought it back. Either way our potential relationship goes, this encounter will not go to waste, he's definitely bringing me closer to my 2nd goal at least:)

Apa-apa pun, jodoh itu rahsia Tuhan (Union is God's secret). Okay, enough deep thoughts for now, it's time to chill. I have a 4.5 hour spa appointment in the morning:D


Kak Elle said...


Ms B said...

Happy birthday hazia! and make sure u enjoy that 4 1/2 hrs of spa.

SHIMI said...

Thanks a lot. i link back to you. Happy Birthday, your 36th is it!

Hazia said...

Kak Elle,

Hazia said...

Ms b
The spa was ok only la, and it lasted for only 3.5 hrs. The massage was too short, I think. That's why Malay brands cannot go far, they can't even maintain basic quality control.

Hazia said...

Thanks for dropping by. Do come again:)