Saturday, September 13, 2008

Honeycomb Dude

When I was quickly cutting and pasting the intro (Welcome to My Sea) onto my new blog, the phrase below in it really hit me.

‘Hope this blog paints a fair picture of the person that I was and the one I have become'.

Well, much has happened since I started blogging in April 2005. It was then that my career started taking a backseat while the spotlight turned to my personal life. I realised that I have indeed changed a lot but I’m not sure if I like the person I’ve become. Hmm… actually, No.

And today, I’d like to go back to being the old optimistic me who saw the best in every possible relationship. No more prejudice, paranoia, pessimism…. There are way too many Ps. Enough is enough. And today too, I’m throwing my ‘Dealing with the Opposite Sex’ manual deep into the river. I’ll tell you why…

Boy, I’m going to be writing about this guy for quite a bit, until I get sick of it, ok? So do bear with me. LOL! Yeap, Mr Designer. We’ve known each other for slightly less than a month and I’ve already tested him 3 times. Each time, he reacted very differently from the average guys I knew. My tested theories are not applicable to him.

For example:
1) Rambling about the jerks I knew brought up a series of confessions from him (see my old blog for the full story);

2) Suggesting that he might be ‘blowing me off’ when he cancelled our outing twice had brought him even closer to me. Even I think I was being a bit clingy. LOL!

3) Whoa! Full story: Last night, I told him I’d rather that he doesn’t call me ‘Sis’. That is what he calls his boss and it makes me uncomfortable. And, I hope we could be open to the possibility of us being more than friends. I don’t want to subconsciously stir us into a buddy-buddy kind of relationship by this Bro, Sis thingy. Okay, so I dropped the bomb way too early, I know. If he’s going to flee, I’d rather that he does it now, before I become emotionally entangled.

Surprisingly, he said he got a pretty good idea of what’s coming after reading my ‘The Big Barrier’ entry about his boss cum my ex-friend (I printed out for him). I didn’t realise how that 10% mention of him was going to make him jumpy. He openly asked what I wanted to talk about – relationship, feelings, etc. Yeap, he’s a sensitive dude.

And guess what? He didn’t flee. Neither did he avoid the topic. He was tired last night, even yawning many times, but he nailed me there and then. No delay. He parked the car outside my condo and we talked some more. He said he enjoyed my company a lot. It is a good break for him from his hectic life and job. I didn’t doubt that at all. He already drove from his sister’s place in Bangi to his partners’ studio in Setapak to work. After that, he came to fetch me in Bangsar after midnight to go to KL Hilton for milkshake and cheese cake, sent me back and returned to Setapak at 4.30am to resume work. That speaks volume. Especially since his business partner called him a few times asking how soon could he get back to the studio.

However, he said timing is bad for him. His marriage ended badly 3 years ago. Furthermore, he had just broken off his engagement after 1.5 years. His fiance has been contacting him non-stop wanting to meet up and talk. She wants him to return to her. That definitely won’t happen. Right now, he just wants to work hard and earn as much as he could until his finances is strong again. I do consider his mileage expenses when we go out, I often pick up our dining bills.

He even jokingly said that if his mind could be scanned, it would resemble a honeycomb. LOL! It is so cluttered and twisted. His boss cum my ex-friend is not making it easy for him either. He said it was my call but he didn’t want me to change or do anything… as long I don’t expect anything. There should not be a hidden agenda of sort. Too many things are happening with him at the time being. Hmm, come to think of it… if I’ve entered his life at the right time, there would already be another woman in it, wouldn’t it? Duh, dude!

I assured him that I’d rather we take it one step at a time. Anyway, he said there is no such thing as fleeing, he can always say ‘No’ should that be the case. Same goes with me, I can always say ‘No’ too if that is what I want. Hmm… at least, I’m convinced that he won’t pull the disappearing act with me. On the contrary, he handled the delicate situation very tactfully.

Hence, I can relax now. I shall enjoy being with him as long as it lasts..

The most wonderful thing about this guy is that I can really be myself with him. I don’t have to be someone else or change a single thing. I can say whatever I want, whenever and however I want to say it. We can really talk heart to heart for hours; no barrier. That is a big deal to me.



simah said...

hmmm.... interesting perspective...i wish u luck....

by the way...sorry it took me this long to come here... busy days..

u take care ok? n yeah... just try to enjoy

Hazia said...

Thanks, Simah. Been a while, how are you? Still recovering from that balik kampung trip? I saw an interesting article on Cave hotels in Turkey in Going Places. Am very tempted to go, we see how la, have to manage my finance better if I want to go within the next 6 months:)

Yeap. It's time to look at things from another perspective and just chill, I guess:)

Ummi said...

Dear, glad to know that you are happy..

Hazia said...

Thanks, Ummi.
I saw your sewing products, my, you're good. Happy sewing:)

sYaNa said...

Salam :o)

Selamat berkenalan :o) Thank you for visiting and leaving a comment on my blog.

I agree with Simah, enjoy the moment & pray for the best.

Have a good day :o)

Hazia said...

Hi Syana,
Nice meeting you:)
Thanks and datang2 lah selalu...

Ms B said...

Hi hazia,

Thanks for dropping by at my blog! Enjoy the journey. Life is full of unexpected things.

Hazia said...

Thanks Ms B, wise words indeed. You have an interesting blog. Shall drop by often:)

U.Lee said...

Hi Hazia, The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart.

I read your this posting with great interest, and I guess a lot of us are going thru or have similar experiences.
Hazia, you just be yourself, enjoy it is not a dress rehearsal.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom.
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.
They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints in our heats, and we are never ever the same.

Have fun and keep well, best regards and happy Ramadan, Lee.

Hazia said...

'..enjoy life as it is not a dress rehearsal..' and 'Some people move our souls to dance.'

Wow, U. Lee, you do have the best way with words. You really should start writing your own memoir, I'd get a copy. Also, you should probably compile your own poetry collection too:)